Joseph Mediation

One very valuable benefit of a mediated outcome is finality, yet this is something often overlooked or minimized.

Remember that a mediated agreement not only resolves the existing dispute, it eliminates the possibility of appeal.

Finality – having or lacking it – should, therefore, be calculated among risks *and* benefits because, truly, a litigated decision may not be the last of the matter.

It’s at least as important to assess the cost of risk as it is to assess its likelihood.  

To get at this, ask:  What will being wrong cost you?  Unpleasant, yes, but not as unpleasant as not having planned for it.  

Follow with:  What can I afford to lose — or, depending on where the negotiation is — give up?  Walk away from?  Hold out for?

The answers to these questions, together, will provide you a significant anchor throughout your negotiations.   

The person with more to lose is probably the one who’s also ahead of the game.

A dear friend who’s worked hard and has a nice car told me about a daily commuting gripe.  Every day he enters the appropriate lane at a certain intersection that he intends to cross.  Cars line up beside him in a lane designated for a left turn, but with intentions of going across. As irritating as this is, my sage friend acquiesces.

At the cost of some affordable forbearance, he gets where he’s going and goes on enjoying his beautiful, well-kept car.  Meanwhile, the other displays the tell-tale wear and tear from lesser judgment.

My friend’s momentary score-check lets him consider who has more to lose if asserting his right doesn’t go his way.  In this case, he does.  Intelligently, he recognizes that he’s also already ahead of the game.

When making decisions, know where you stand because you may find you’re already where you want to be.

Exacerbated, broken down lines of communication, betrayals, infuriating situations…  Getting a judge involved might feel like the best or only way to bring things to an end.  But what if it’s not?  And what if, more likely than not, it’s not?

Given the toll, I say:

You owe it to yourself — to your family and friends, even — to test your own mettle.

I say this because, over and over, I see the amazing ability people have to fix a problem themselves;   Continue reading →