Joseph Mediation

For many reasons, people are divorcing later in life.  Maybe it’s a baby boomer thing.  Maybe it’s a rising awareness that change is an option at any age.  Maybe it’s that independence is more manageable and achievable than it has been.  Regardless, it’s important to consider a variety of things in the process of establishing separate living arrangements.  People need to account for not only what they’ve accumulated, but what their needs and resources will be going forward.

Below is an article that offers some issues worth thinking about, and I hope it’s helpful to you or someone you know who may be facing or considering a separation or divorce.  Please feel free to contact me if you have questions or wish to discuss things.

Financial Safeguards Needed as Senior Divorces Soar

It’s sometimes difficult to embrace the notion that someone sees room for improvement in us, especially while we’re so bent on doing right.  I mediated with someone whose focus on his method for advancement was so consuming that he was oblivious to the (im)personal impact he was having on others while carrying out his job.

The plaintiff inscrutably followed procedures which could have led to his eligibility for promotion, but his employer had a consistent (and documented) history of his problematic interpersonal skills (difficult to manage when he felt his approach was being challenged, aggressive and intimidating communication style, insubordinate). Continue reading →

Plaintiff:  “No one ever got back to me after I made my complaint.”  The emoployee assumes that nothing was done in response to the complaint.

Possible Change In Protocol:  Consider scheduling a follow-up meeting ahead of time with the complainant-employee for the purpose of book-ending the complaint process.  (It can always be rescheduled if necessary.)  You might share the outcome with him/her (without disclosing confidential information) and inform the complainant of available persons or options to whom s/he can appeal if unsatisfied.   Continue reading →

Often, parties in conflict agree on wanting to mediate, but struggle over where and how to begin:  what to propose or counter-propose, and on what they should base their first move.

One difficulty, certainly, is putting aside the sense that a concession or sign of weakness is being communicated.  It helps to be reminded that in mediation there are no decision-makers involved other than the parties, themselves.  No legal determination will be rendered, and the parties’ obligation of confidentiality means only they will know what went into crafting their arrangement, and why they decided it was the better alternative.

As for where to begin, I believe the process of achieving agreement – and inherent desires of closure and finality – is eased by looking forward, not back. Continue reading →